The slowness of a Georgia drawl and the mellow vowel pronunciation of a Colorado accent combined to make Jonathan sound like English isn’t his first language. To be fair, Jonathan could count to a thousand before being able to say “momma” and “dadda,” so technically math was. In high school, Jonathan rode that mathematical proficiency to a wave of popularity within the Georgia mathlete community, culminating in several now-embarrassing Google search results and the opportunity to ply his analytical trade at Brown.
Realizing that theoretical math was not compelling enough to make up for its difficulty or his laziness, Jonathan found a natural arbitrage in the economics department, where otherwise math-reticent students desirous of an unoffered business major were forced to undergo a heavy treatment of derivatives and systems of equations. Feeling guilty for taking advantage of people’s lack of mathematical knowledge, Jonathan hurried up and finished college to head overseas to teach math and hoard Crystal Light packets in rural Tanzania.
Realizing that he could potentially impact usage at a macro level instead of just in his kitchen, Jonathan pursued an advanced degree in Public Policy at the University of Chicago. It was there that he discovered that people were much more willing to talk to him under the guise of “survey research,” and he continued to dupe unwitting victims into talking with him through his work at the Census Bureau, in hopes of finally finding someone who would talk to him under their own volition. And that person was Kara.
Nabbing the 6th Grader of the Year award cemented Kara’s nerd status in her small Upstate New York town, leaving sports where she couldn’t be picked last (track and cross-country) as the obvious choices and inspiring a desire to find others of her kind in college. Growing up in a huge family had instilled an appreciation for diplomacy that was pursued at Georgetown’s School of Foreign Service. As one cannot major in old school hip hop, Latin American Culture and History was a natural home.
After college, a long list of unusual jobs has prepared Kara for the role of being Jonathan’s companion: ice cream scooper, athletic gym manager, JCPenney’s lingerie counter worker, Blockbuster cashier, balloon factory marketer, advertiser, dog rescuer, foster children champion, and student program manager.
In her “free time” (time spent not pursuing social justice on behalf of animals, foster children, or women), she enjoys photography, graphic design, Pinterest, reading, and of course, Jonathan.
Aside from friends and family, Jonathan and Kara are most thankful for Al Gore, because without his creation of the Internet, they would have never found each other. In a city of 646,449 people, there is no way that two witty, astrologically-incompatible, cat-loving, TV binge-watching lovebirds who are absolutely perfect for each other would have sat down at two adjacent bar stools at The Black Squirrel and started a romance they never knew was possible.